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50 Ways to Spice Up the Bedroom

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•Use a Blindfold During Foreplay•

Wearing a blindfold during foreplay will increase your sensation and stimulation! When your wear a blindfold, you never know where the next touch, kiss or spank will come from. It helps build excitement, increase sensation, and keep your partner waiting with anticipation for your next touch. Click here and take a the first steps towards spicing up the bedroom.

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•Find Porn You Like & Follow Along•

Once you find a director or production company that you enjoy, rent or buy a clip and follow along with your partner. You don't have to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. This works to spice up the bedroom because it gives you ideas that are porn-star approved, there's visual and audio stimuli which can be hot, and you get to try new ideas for positions and techniques delivered to you!

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•Experiment with Dirty Talk During Sex•

Dirty talk helps stimulate people who like audio input such as moans and groans. Talk about what you are going to do, or what you want to do. You can also talk about, in sexy detail, things you wouldn't do it real life, but you can talk about doing in fantasy. It helps stimulate the imagination and visual processing for people who picture the dirty talk they're hearing. If you're feeling shy, check out Ashley Manta's book "A Feminist's Guide to Phone Sex"

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•Try Mutual Masturbation•

Mutual masturbation is when you and your partner masturbate in front of, with or next to each other. This is hot for lots of people because they get to touch themselves exactly how they like it. They have the visual stimuli of seeing someone they find attractive touch themselves. And you get the see their excitement and pleasure build. While it can be nerve-wracking, this is something fun and easy you can to do increase intimacy and spice up the bedroom.

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•Use a Sex Toy Instead of Using Your Genitals•

Finding toys to use instead of your body parts can be fun because toys never get tired! When you use a toy on your partner it allows you to focus more on what they're feeling and experiencing, instead of navigating between your sensations and your partner's reactions. Use a dildo instead of a penis for vaginal and anal penetration. Consider investing in a penis sleeve and use that instead of your mouth or vagina. Click here to dive into wide world of sex toys.

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•Fill out a Yes/No/Maybe List with Your Partner•

A yes/no/maybe checklist is a great way to decide with your partner what you both are into, maybe into and definitely not into. We've created a list of the checklists we like a lot. Some are more oriented for kinky people, non-monogamous people or people first exploring sex. Fill out the lists separately, and then come back together and make a list of all the shared "yes" and "maybe" actions for your future sexy adventures in spicing up the bedroom.

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•Eat A Sensual Food Off Your Partner’s Body•

Combining food and sex is the ultimate sensual act for some people. You can get your partner naked, blindfold them and lead them to a sturdy table. Have them lay on it and slowly place sensual foods on their body. You could use honey, chocolate or whipped cream for some sexy dessert. Some people even like going for a meal of sushi. The mixture of sensation, temperature play and building anticipation will leave your partner begging for your touch.

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•Give Spanking a Try•

Spanking can be perfect foreplay to other kinds of sensation, or to other kinds of sex. With your partner's consent, you could blindfold them, lead them into a room, and make them stand in your ideal spanking stance. It could be over the knee, bent over a bed or standing up straight. Next the spanker gets to practice different types of spanking. Check in with the person being spanked to see how they like it, and if they want more. Spanking also helps increase blood flow  to the genitals, which can be perfect foreplay to spice up the bedroom.

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•Plan a Date Night Where You Try Something You've Never Done Before•

It's scientifically proven that trying something new releases the same brain chemicals as when you fall in love. You could try a new style of food, or a new genre of dance. You could take a pottery class or volunteer together. Sharing that new experience your partner helps you both bond around trying something new. Don't be surprised if after it's done you want to get home ASAP to enjoy that energy together in a sexy way! If you are your partner are new to sex toys, or a certain group of sex toys, check out some of our favorite options here.

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•Find a Hidden, Secluded Spot and Experiment With Public Sex•

Having sex in a completely new place with the thrill that you might be seen or heard can be incredibly erotic for some people. The risk is part of the thrill for many people. You could find a deserted parking garage, or a hidden grove in a park and play around with your sweetie. This is a great way to spice up the bedroom, outside the bedroom! But make sure to check local laws before you do!

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•Experiment with Anal Play - Wear a Butt Plug Out to Dinner•

If you've never tried wearing a butt plug, it can be just the thing to put a spring in your step! Butt play is taboo in our culture, but once you know how to do it should be fun, pleasurable, clean and painless! Start with a small light weight plug that will easily stay in. As your sphincter and kegel muscles strengthen, you can move up to something more challenging!


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•Create a Sexy Playlist Try to Keep the Beat!•

Sometimes we can get excited and speed up our tempo, or slow it down in the moment that all our partner's needed was consistency of rhythm. Building a sex playlist helps you keep the beat and play with different rhythms during stimulation. Start with slow and steady song to warm up to, then slowly build up to something a bit more fast-paced.

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•Create a Role-Play Fantasy with Your Partner. You Don’t Have to Act It Out•

It's ok if you feel shy and don't want to act the fantasy you come up with. This can be fun just to gauge where you and your partner are similar when it comes to fantasy. If you don't want to spice up the bedroom by having a threesome, no worries, just talk about it and play pretend! If you're feeling extra naughty, you can dirty talk the idea to your partner during sex.

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•Invite Someone into Your Bedroom for a Threesome or Group Sex•

Some people love the idea of having more helping hands to spice up the bedroom. Some people think it's super hot to watch their partner give pleasure to someone else. Sometimes it's just nice to have an audience. Exploring with group sex should be done with intention, and it's important to talk with all partners about it before, during and after the experience. Click here to find out more from sex educator Reid Mihalko about how to initiate a threesome.

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 •Experiment with Gender Expression/Play•

Some people find it incredibly hot and fulfilling to play around with the concept of gender. If you're someone with a vulva who has been socialized as a woman, try dressing in a more masculine fashion, or try wearing a packer for an evening. People with penises who have been socialized as men sometimes love wearing sexy, lacy underwear out on a date. Knowing that your partner is doing this can be fun and hot for both you!

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•Have a Lube Sample Night!•

Pick out three lubricants you've never tried before and try them out all in the same night! Try different lubes such as water based, silicone based and a hybrid lube. If you don't use latex barriers, you can also try out oil-based lubes. But make sure not to use those if you use condoms or other barriers, as oil will break down latex. Also, try each lube with a different sex act to see if certain lubes work better for different activities. Maybe try a warming lube to really spice up the bedroom! Or click here to try one of our favorite, affordable lubricants!

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•Send Your Partner a Sexy Text Foreshadowing the Evening's Activities•

Plan something simple and sexy for you and your sweetie that evening. After you or they have left for the day, send them a text with a naughty hint about what your plans for the evening. Don't give away too much, just enough to get them thinking about the possibilities. By the time you reunite you will be excited to get your evening plans going!

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•Experiment with Power Play•

Power play is the act of consensually giving and relinquishing power between partners. Many people find it incredibly erotic to give up control or take control with someone they trust. Only do this after a negotiation about what you like and don't like, safewords and types of touch, words, themes you both feel comfortable with. This can be a really hot way to spice up the bedroom if kink and BDSM are appealing to you. Check out a simple and seductive restraint in our Spice Up the Bedroom Kit.

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•Go to a Sex Party Just to Watch•

Lots of people think that if you go to a sex party you have to have sex. That's not the case. Lots of people just go to watch, be watched or just socialize with other people who have similar interests. You can hang out by the snack table, play a game, or get frisky if the mood strikes you. Watching other people have sex can give you tons of ideas on how else you can spice up the bedroom. You can find local events on Fetlife.com or sls.com

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•Invite Close Friends Over and Play a Naughty Game•

Playing a sexy game with friends can feel really exhilarating, and can help people get better and talking about sex, and normalizing sexual behaviors. No one has to do anything they don't want to, but you might find out more about your friends and feel more connected with them than you have before. You could try strip poker. 100 Sex Questions, Sexy Truth or Dare or one of our other tested and approved games.

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•Go to a Local Kink Class and Try Something New•

Check out our class schedule if you're in New Mexico, or check out Fetlife.com if you're elsewhere and see what sorts of local events are happening in your area. This can be a great way to build confidence around a certain topic such as rope bondage, or sensation play. You can also meet like-minded people and spice up the bedroom with your new skills.

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 •Surprise Your Sweetie for Lunch with a Sandwich and Some Sex•

Depending on your schedules you can either plan out or surprise your partner with a lunch time date that also includes some sexy time. If you're feeling super frisky you can try and do the deed at their place of work, or nearby, but you assess the risk for yourselves. It can also be a great way to make a slow, boring work day speed right up!

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•Have a Sex Lab Night•

We learned this excellent tip from Sex Nerd Sandra's podcast. The ideas is to create a low-pressure night where you plan out and practice new sexual techniques on each other. It's a fun way to try something new and not feel bad if it doesn't go well. This is the time to experiment with new positions, techniques, toys and more! There's no going wrong when you use this idea to spice up the bedroom.

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•Read Erotica Together Out Loud During Sex•

Show your partner a real good time by going down on them while they read an erotic short story. Find a book, author, or anthology you like and sit back and relax while your partner performs oral sex on you! The sensation of oral sex and hearing a hot story happen can tease so many senses at once! If you want, you can trade places after someone orgasms.

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•Orgasm Races•

Masturbate together to see who can come first! We don't typically like to be orgasm-focused, so if that doesn't feel good for you, you can find another variation on this idea to spice up the bedroom in one of our favorite books, "Sex is Fun"

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•Everyone Wear a Blindfold and Have Sex•

We love this idea to spice up the bedroom because it lets your fingers and your words guide you to find and enjoy pleasure with your partner! This is one of the most simple and effective ways to spice up the bedroom because it helps your sense hone in on your partner's sounds, movements and body language in a way that we don't normally do if we have our sight. Plus, all you need are some blindfolds and you're good to go!

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•Go to a Store and Find a Pervertible•

Pervertibles are a household object you turn into a sex/play toy. Just the act of going to a grocery store, hardware store, or a place like Target to find something to add to your toy collection can be exhilarating. You could look for a tie or scarf to tie someone with, maybe a spatula for some spankings. The possibilities to spice up the bedroom are endless!

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•Do Temperature Play with Sex Toys•

Certain sex toy materials such as metal, glass or ceramic can be incredible if you heat or cool them. We don't recommend boiling or freezing them, but you can do temperature play just by using a bowl of hot or ice-cold water.The sensation of temperature against a person's genitals can be incredibly exciting and delicious. Add a blindfold and build up the anticipation to turn up your play a notch or two.

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•Have you Heard of Hot Yoga? Try Hot Sex •

Turn up the heat a few notches and give you and your partner permission to get hot and sweaty! Make the room nice and toasty, do massages, get naked, and play, make out, or have sex. Sometimes we feel like we can't get messy during sex, but it can be really fun to make an exception to help you spice up your relationship.

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 •Take a Bath Together•

Baths are a great way to get clean, tease your senses, and get close to someone. For more fun in the bath, you can paint each other with kid’s bath crayons. Draw hearts around the areas of your partners body that you love, or write them love notes. This is a great way to something sweet and get clean, before you get dirty again.

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•Set a Sex Timer•

Set a timer for 3 minutes and every time it goes off you have to change sex acts. You and your partner get to decide what goes on the menu, and how long the time intervals should be for. Some activities you could choose from are oral sex, then butt play, then intercourse, then making out, then spanking. If you want to, you can play until someone has an orgasm.

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•Toy Bag Show and Tell•

Pull out some or all of your sex toys and have your partner pick one or two for you to use on them (or vice versa). You can include lube and BDsM toys as well! Make sure you put several of their favorites in the pile so it’s a tough choice. It's a perfect way to experiment and feel confident that you partner is feeling empowered in the ways you decide to spice up the bedroom. Click here to start building your toybag!

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•Have Roadtrip Sex or Try Roadhead•

Plan a roadtrip with your partner and try to stop in each county and have sex somewhere. Sometimes the best way to spice up the bedroom is to get out of the bedroom. You can also play around with giving and receiving pleasure in the car. Just make sure to keep your safety in mind.

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•Write a  Naughty Haiku•

Spend just a few minutes thinking about a fantasy you have and then come up with a short poem or haiku to about your sexy ideas. Leave a note or text it to you partner as a surprise to brighten up their day! And then ask if they want to act it out next time you see them.

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•Go Shopping Together for Sex Outfits•

Take some time with your sweetie and go shopping with one goal. Both of you can pick out something you think you would feel sexy in. It can be lingerie, shoes, a robe, underwear. For an added idea to spice up the bedroom, make this a piece of clothing that you ONLY wear for sex. Then leave it laying out suggestively one day for your partner to find.

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•Mutual Massage•

Mutual massage can be so much fun because you get to see your partner enjoy yourself themselves and you get to get a rub down yourself too! You can match their speed and energy, nd you just might end up doing other sexy things together as a way to turn it up!

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•Have a Race to the Bedroom•

Schedule with your partner to see who can get home first and be naked in bed. Set it up so each person has a fair chance, but the first one to make it home, get naked and get in bed, gets to choose what sexy thing happens first. You might be surprised how a race to get naked can spice up the bedroom.

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 •Experiment with a Gag•

A gag is a way to inhibit someone's ability to speak. It's important to establish a safe gesture or sign so that if the person who is gagged wants it to stop or slow down, they can communicate that to their partner. There are many different types of gags, so feel free experiment with which one is best for you!

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•Play “Touch Me with Everything But…”•

Play this fun game with your partner for an evening. Take one of the parts of their body that they normally use during sex, and set the rule that they can touch with with anything except that part. This helps them get creative in ways to touch you.They can use sex toys, household items or something more naughty to spice up the bedroom.

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•Play "Guess What this Is"•

Blindfold your partner and make them stay put on the bed. Walk around the house and high items that might provide a high sensory experience. Bring the itme back to bed and tease them with it. You can have it make noise, you can brush it against their skin. If they guess correctly what it is, they get a naughty prize! Who knew a cold spoon could spice up the bedroom!

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 •Create a Sexy Scavenger Hunt•

This can be a fun activity for a date night! You can do it around you house, bonus points for being naked, or you can create a scavenger hunt around your town. Have someone go find the first place you kissed, or had your first date. You can make it even more fun by giving them a suggestion of what to do at the end.

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•Recreate Your First Date•

This can be a fun way to take a walk down memory late and spice up the bedroom. Go to the place where you had your first date and do it all over again. This time around you can be more forward and talk about the things you would like to do with your partner once you get home.

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•Have Your Partner Pick Out Your Naughty Underwear•

It can be really fun to have your partner pick out your underwear, panties, bra etc. for the day. It feels fun because you know that they find you hot in what you're wearing, and then you get to think  about them every time you see the underwear. By the time you get home you might just need to take them off right away and get down to business.

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•Host a Naughty Gift Exchange•

Get your closest friends together and host a naughty gift exchange. It can feel super hot and exciting to acknowledge and talk about sex openly with your friends, and you might be surprised how that can help spice up the bedroom with your partner. And at the end of the night you might have a new lube, or sex toy, or game to try out. Click here to find some great naughty gifts!

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•Document Your Sexy Solo Time•

Take a picture or video of you touching yourself and send it to your partner. It might be just the naughty surprise you need to get frisky the next time you see each other. If you're feeling brave, ask them for someone you want to see them do. Some people get really turned on know what turns on their lover.

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 •Use a Massage Oil Candle•

Massage oil candles are a simple, sexy way to make a massage even better! The candle wax has a low melting temperature, so as long as it's in contact with your skin, it will be in a more liquid form. You can light the candle, let it sit for a few minutes, and then pour the lightly warmed (but not too hot) massage oil all over your partner's body. Then go to town and rub it in. Click here to learn about one of our favorite massage candles available.

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•Wear a Rope Corset in Public Under Your Shirt•

Find a book about rope bondage and learn how to tie a rope corset or rope harness. Have your partner tie the harness or corset on you and then go out for dinner, dancing or a date. It can feel so sexy to have the rope rub against your skin. Sometimes all it takes to spice up the bedroom is a bit of intentionally placed pressure (from the ropes) and a bit of blushing in public.

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•Make a Sex Bucket List•

This can be a fun way to plan out so sexy adventures with your partner. Trying new things together helps release hormones and neurotransmitters into your body that mimic the process you brain goes through when you're in love. If you have a list of sex acts you've never tried, you can always go back to your bucket list to spice up the bedroom.