Question: A friend of mine suggested I contact you about my interest in cuckolding. It’s not something I hear much about in NM. I’m having issues meeting someone who I’m attracted to and likes the idea of cuckolding.
Answer: Thanks for reaching out to us! We love connecting people with resources towards understanding and supporting their desires. Sometimes it feels as though our desires are completely unique, but there’s typically a whole subculture celebrating almost anything that might get you turned on.
Cuckolding is a fantasy and lifestyle practice where one partner (frequently a wife or girlfriend) will have sex with other men, at their partner’s request. Many men are aroused by participating, watching, hearing or fantasizing about their partner with other people. Local clinical psychologist David Ley wrote a book about it called Insatiable Wives and the Men who Love Them.
Some people believe cuckolding is about humiliation for the partner who requests the arrangement. Others are aroused to see their partner as a highly desired sexual partner. One of the couples in Ley’s book expressed how cuckolding helped the female partner, Kay, feel sexually empowered. “Kay described the adrenaline rushes as she explores the power of being in charge…In the six months that the couple have been living together, they have acted out this scene about five or six times, and find the sexual excitement both before and after the actual event is a tremendous sexual thrill.”
Finding people whose kinks fit yours can take time, but the Internet helps. Consider making a list of ideal characteristics for a partner, then figure out where you will compromise. FetLife.com can help you find people who are into cuckolding, discussion groups about it and advice from people in the scene. Also check out SeekingCuckold.com, a site just for people who want to talk to or meet up with other cuckold enthusiasts!
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Questions are answered by Self Serve Staff and edited by Hunter Riley.
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