Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds. Asking for it can be even trickier. That kind of honesty puts us in a vulnerable place, and opens us up to rejection, or to being shamed for our desires. People of all genders and sexualities have a lot of cultural baggage to work through. From messages implying that wanting sex or pleasure is slutty (and that that’s a bad thing) to sex tips that make it sound like we’re supposed to be able to read our partners minds. All of this sets us up for failure, and for those reasons and more, many people never take the chance to open a dialog with their partner(s). But being able to talk about your wants and needs is the only way to get them met.
In this class we’ll talk about ways to put yourself and your partner at ease, styles of communication, and specific examples of tools and phrases to try. We’ll talk about ways to start the conversation and ways to incorporate communication into dirty talk. Not even sure what to ask for? We’ll talk about some common fantasies you might want to try.
Stella Harris is a Certified Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach, who uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella teaches at venues and conferences across the US (and Canada!) while maintaining a private practice in her adopted hometown of Portland, Oregon. Stella’s first book, Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships was published by Cleis Press in September 2018 and she’s currently working on a new book for Cleis, all about threesomes. Learn more at www.stellaharris.net or follow @stellaharriserotica on Instagram.
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